July 19, 2021
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R

The Girlfriend/Caretaker Thing

July 19, 2021

So I am Z’s girlfriend, you guys know that from reading the blog. But something we haven’t talked about too much is that I am also one of Z’s caretaker’s. Like as far as my taxes are concerned, that’s how I’m currently making a living. That might seem kind of strange, I’ve found it slightly strange myself. So let’s talk about it.

It is kind of strange to be paid to help your boyfriend when he needs it. I always believed that that’s what partners should do for eachother. Maybe I never pictured grabbing stuff for my partner because they couldn’t, or holding a coffee mug for them, or collecting their pee for our collection in the attic (inside joke, don’t worry about it), but I’m happy to do it.  

So when Z’s mom mentioned that I should apply to work for Z, I was actually a little bit opposed. I thought it would be wierd for me to be paid to basically, as I said, be somebody’s girlfriend. Would I feel I had to keep Z and my relationship professional? Would I be able to say how I felt or what I needed if Z was my boss in addition to my boyfriend? Still, since I had left my job on Long Island and I needed a new one, and since I’m terrible at job hunting I figured I should take the opportunity. At the time, Z said he wouldn’t feel comfortable asking me for as much help as he needs if I wasn’t being compensated. So I applied for the job and, shockingly, Z hired me. 

Ultimately, I do think that putting my assisting Z time on the books has ended up being the right decision for our relationship. It has given me the freedom to work on my creative pursuits without worrying about my finances, which has always been my dream. It’s given me the time to establish myself in the Ithaca area and make friends and connections. Plus, on a bad day, being interrupted by a Z request when I’m doing my own thing can irritate me, so knowing it’s my job prevents me from getting too annoyed. Some days I do get bored without the structure of going into “the office,” but I think that’s probably a pretty normal work-from-home issue.

It is quite awkward when my family asks me “what I’m doing for work these days?” and I have to explain that I collect my partner’s pee and such. But as my mom said, “at least I have an in with the boss.”

Sometimes I do have trouble thinking of working with Z as a job, I do things like plan a trip home without looking for coverage for work, but I guess it’s like the old adage says, “if you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life.” Well, sometimes I do in fact forget that I’m employed, after all I’m just helping out my partner.